IM Mayhem
by PeggsterLover
Summary: Cobb sets up a chat room for the team to communicate. He tells them to not mess around, but these guys just can't resist. Hilarity ensues as Eames and Yusuf attempt to get Arthur and Ariadne together. Will Cobb log in and catch them? Please R
1. Chapter 1

_So this is my attempt at an Inception IM chat room story. I hope it's as funny as I thought the idea would be :)_

_Once again, characters and the movie belong to Nolan – that genius is amazing!_

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These are the team's chat room I.D.s so you can follow. Numbers generally represent birth years based on my guesstimate of their ages. Since this is set in 2010, Yusuf has just done this year, then Cobb would be 33, Arthur 25, Eames 28, Ariadne 21 and Saito 41:

Cobb: cobb77

Arthur: awrome85

Eames: rocknrolla82

Ariadne: ari89

Yusuf: yusuf2010

Saito: moneyman69

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**cobb77** – Hey guys, just so you know, I have set this chat room up so that it's easier to get messages to each other. I hope it works out. Oh and please no messing around, please be professional.

_cobb77 has signed out._

_ari89 has signed in._

_rocknrolla82 has signed in._

**ari89** – Ok, who's that?

**rocknrolla82** – Well, hello to you too, darling.

**ari89** – Eames?

**rocknrolla82** – You got it :)

**ari89** – Where on earth is that name from?

**rocknrolla82** – Please tell me you've seen Rocknrolla…

_awrome85 has signed in._

**ari89** – Uh, can't say I have… what is it?

**ari89** – Oh look, someone else…

**awrome85** – Hey guys.

**rocknrolla82** – Lemme guess….. Arthur?

**awrome85** – Yes…. Eames? That you?

**rocknrolla82** – The one and only ;)

**ari89** – Hey Arthur :)

**awrome85** – Ariadne, right?

**ari89** – Yup

**awrome85** – So what I miss?

**ari89** – Eames was just about to explain what Rocknrolla is… any clue?

**awrome85** – Uh, isn't it… wait, never mind…

**ari89** – So go on, what is it?

**rocknrolla82** – Only one of the best movies to come out of England… possibly one of the best movies ever!

**awrome85** – Whatever, there's plenty more movies that are better than that.

**rocknrolla82** – You're kidding right?

**awrome85** – No, that is not the best movie out there. you're just being overtly patriotic.

**rocknrolla82** – Am not!

**awrome85** – Yes you are…

**ari89** – Ok, guys, stop acting like children, you're supposed to be older than me… sheesh…

**rocknrolla82** – Sorry… *insert puppy eyes*

**ari89** – LOL

**awrome85 **– What's 'LOL'?

**rocknrolla82** - …

**awrome85** – What?

**ari89** – You don't know what LOL is?

**awrome85** – No…

**rocknrolla82** – Hahahahahahaha

**awrome85** – Eames… stop laughing…

**rocknrolla82** – hahahahaha

**awrome85** – Eames…

**rocknrolla82** – hahahahahahah

**awrome85 **– I mean it…

**rocknrolla82** – Ok… :(

**rocknrolla82** – killjoy…

**ari89** – So what's your name then Arthur? where's that from?

**awrome85** – Well, A.W is my initials

**ari89 **– Oh, what's your surname?

**awrome85** – Woods

**ari89** – Cute :) 85 is… year of birth?

**awrome85** – Yeah

**rocknrolla82** – What about Rome? as in the city?

**awrome85** – Yeah

**ari89** – Why is that so significant?

**awrome85** – Uh… it's where I… I met my first girlfriend there…

**ari89** – oh how adorable! XD

**rocknrolla82** – well well well… who knew our little Artie boy was so sentimental?

**awrome85** – shut up Eames or I'll slap you…

**rocknrolla82** – well Rocknrolla couldn't be that bad if you're quoting it…

**awrome85** – Huh?

**rocknrolla82** – never mind

_yusuf2010 has signed in._

**rocknrolla82** – well I wonder who that is… *note sarcasm*

**ari89 **– hey Yusuf

**yusuf2010** – hey all… what have I missed?

**ari89** – not much, just the usual bickering with these two *points to Arthur and Eames*

**rocknrolla82** – *smiles innocently*

**awrome85** – how's the latest compounds coming along Yusuf?

**yusuf2010 **– eh, not too bad, just taking a break, thought I'd come and check out Cobb's new idea… seems I wasn't the only one…

**awrome85** – speaking of Cobb, I gotta go talk to him about something, I'll be right back

**ari89 **– BRB?

**awrome85 **– What?

**ari89 **– BRB… it stands for be right back…

**awrome85 **– oh, right… well BRB :)

_awrome85 has signed out._

**rocknrolla82 **– so Ariadne…

**ari89 **– yes Eames?

**rocknrolla82 **– when are you going to ask Arthur out?

**rocknrolla82 **– haha I saw that, you need to be careful drinking at your computer desk, you might get a shock comment and spray your coffee everywhere… oh wait, never mind, you just did…

**ari89 **– shut up Eames…

**yusuf2010 **– so when are you going to do it?

**ari89 **– I don't know what you're talking about…

**rocknrolla82 **– Ariadne, darling, we are not naïve… you're clearly into him ;)

**ari89 **– am not!

**yusuf2010 **– yes you are…

**ari89 **– wait… is it that obvious…?

**rocknrolla82 **– hate to break it to you, but yes it is :P

**ari89 **– oh… do you think Arthur knows?

**yusuf2010 **– well, now he IS naïve, so I wouldn't worry :)

**rocknrolla82 **– but I do think he likes you too ;)

**ari89 **– he does?

**rocknrolla82 **– have you not seen the way he looks at you?

**yusuf2010 **– or how he flirts?

**rocknrolla82 **– and he calls ME a flirt… hypocrite

**yusuf2010 **– haha

**ari89 **– you really think he likes me too?

**rocknrolla82 **– love, would I lie to you?

**yusuf2010 **– whoa guys, he's coming back your way… drop the subject

**ari89 **– thanks Yusuf

_awrome85 has signed in._

**awrome85 **– hey, did I miss anything?

**ari89 **– nope

**rocknrolla82 **– don't worry Arthur, we weren't talking about you ;)

**awrome85 **– what?

**ari89 **– nothing… he's being stupid

**awrome85 **– what's new there?

**rocknrolla82 **– ouch! that hurt, Arthur, that really hurt… *sniffle sniff*

**awrome85 **– grow up Eames…

_moneyman69 has signed in. _

**rocknrolla82 **– no need to guess who this is :P

**moneyman69 **– Hello everyone

**awrome85 **– hey Saito

**ari89 **– hi :)

**moneyman69 **– What have you all been talking about?

**yusuf2010 **– oh nothing really…

**ari89 **– ok guys, I'm gonna get another coffee, anyone else want one?

**awrome85 **– sounds good :) thanks

**rocknrolla82 **– mmmmm coffeeeeeee :P yes please Ariadne dear

**yusuf2010 **– I'm alright thanks

**ari69 **– Saito?

**moneyman69 **– No thank you

**ari89 **– alright, I'm out, back soon :)

_ari89 has signed out._

**yusuf2010 **– so when are we gonna talk about it, Arthur?

**awrome85 **– about what?

**rocknrolla82 **– about the fact that you are head over heels in love with Ariadne and are too chicken to ask her out on a date ;)

**awrome85 **– what?

**rocknrolla82 **– oh don't be stupid Arthur, you know that's my job :P

**yusuf2010 **– don't worry, Arthur, she likes you back :)

**awrome85 **– I… she does?

**moneyman69 **– Are you blind?

**rocknrolla82 **– wow, nice one Saito :D

**moneyman69 **– I try

**awrome85 **– so, hang on, you guys are saying that she likes me?

**rocknrolla82 **– yes, Arthur…

**rocknrolla82 **– SHE

**rocknrolla82 **– LIKES

**rocknrolla82 **– YOU

**yusuf2010 **– nicely put :)

**rocknrolla82 **– why thank you :D

**yusuf2010 **– oh guys, Cobb's logging on…

**rocknrolla82 **– scramble!

_yusuf2010 has signed out._

_rocknrolla82 has signed out._

_moneyman69 has signed out._

_cobb77 has signed in._

**cobb77 **– Arthur?

**awrome85 **– uh, hi Cobb

**cobb77 **– are you the only one here?

**awrome85 **– uh, yeah, just came to check it out, see what this whole IM thing is about.

**cobb77 **– ah yes… so, if I looked at the chat history, there wouldn't be anything right?

**awrome85 **– uh…

_awrome85 has signed out._

**cobb77 **– LOL

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_Well I hope you liked it… yes, Rocknrolla is in reference to Tom Hardy's amazing film. The quote from it (well, altered slightly for the purpose of this fic) "Shut up, Bob, or I'll slap you" belongs to Guy Ritchie. Remember, reviews are always welcome :)_

_Much love xo _


	2. Chapter 2

_Ok, this was only gonna be one chapter, but it seems that due to popular demand, I am proceeding with a second! I can't begin to thank you guys for your AWESOME reviews! I love you all sooooooo much! I am so glad that you actually found it funny – ya know when an idea is funny in your head, but then you put it on paper and you suddenly worry that it actually isn't that funny? Lol here is a reminder of who is who:_

_Cobb: cobb77_

_Arthur: awrome85_

_Eames: rocknrolla82_

_Ariadne: ari89_

_Yusuf: yusuf2010_

_Saito: moneyman69_

_Hope this is up to expectations!_

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**THEN:**

**cobb77** – Arthur?

**awrome85** – uh, hi Cobb

**cobb77** – are you the only one here?

**awrome85** – uh, yeah, just came to check it out, see what this whole IM thing is about.

**cobb77** – ah yes… so, if I looked at the chat history, there wouldn't be anything, right?

**awrome85** – uh…

_awrome85 has signed out. _

**cobb77** – LOL

**NOW:**

_ari89 has signed in. _

**ari89** – hey :)

**cobb77** – hi Ariadne

**ari89** – oh… hi Cobb…

**cobb77** – not expecting me, were we?

**ari89** – oh, no no not that… I, uh, didn't expect anyone else to be on here, tbh…

**cobb77** – that's why you said hi when you logged in, right?

**ari89** – uh… well I was simply being prepared… in case anyone was here

**cobb77** – oh, ok then

**ari89** – so…

**ari89** – I think this is a great idea by the way…

**cobb77** – you think?

**ari89** – yeah, rather handy to communicate :)

**cobb77** – well that's good to know

**ari89** – well, I'm gonna… go now… plenty of work to be doing…

**cobb77** – oh I'm sure you do ;)

**ari89** – heh…. well… bye Cobb

_ari89 has signed out._

**cobb77** – oh man…

_cobb77 has signed out._

_rocknrolla82 has signed in._

_yusuf2010 has signed in._

**rocknrolla82** – Is it safe?

**yusuf2010** – I'm pretty sure we're good…

**rocknrolla82** – phew…. that was close…

**yusuf2010** – yeah

**rocknrolla82** – a little closer for Arthur though, hey! man, did you see his face when Cobb logged in? LOL

**yusuf2010** – haha yeah

**rocknrollw82** – ah good times…. worked a charm hey!

**yusuf2010** – of course! don't our plans ALWAYS work?

**rocknrollw82** – touché :D

_moneyman69 has signed in._

**yusuf2010** – ah look who else is back

**moneyman69** – Hello again.

**rocknrolla82** – wb :)

**moneyman69** – wb?

**rocknrolla82** – ah geez, Saito, you're almost as bad as Arthur!

**yusuf2010** – its Eames language for welcome back…

**moneyman69** – Oh right! Well, thank you.

**rocknrolla82** – np :)

**yusuf2010** – and that would mean no problem

**moneyman69** – You read my mind Yusuf.

_awrome85 has signed in. _

**yusuf2010** – well I think it went well

**rocknrolla82** – Yusuf…

**yusuf2010** – what? oh…

**yusuf2010** – hi Arthur :)

**awrome85** – hi guys… what went well?

**moneyman69** – Oh we were just talking about how we all managed to log out before Cobb came back.

**awrome85** – well, most of us…

**rocknrolla82** – yeah well you just aren't quick enough :P

**awrome85** – Eames don't start…

**rocknrolla82** – ah whatever…

**yusuf2010** – so where were we?

**moneyman69** – Weren't we discussing Arthur and Ariadne?

**rocknrolla82** – you know what, Saito, I think you're right!

**awrome85** – guys…

**yusuf2010** – so you really need to get your act together and make your move

**awrome85** – guys…

**rocknrolla82** – yeah, Arthur, grow some XD

**awrome85** – GUYS!

**rocknrolla82** – WHAT?

**yusuf2010** – What?

**moneyman69** – Yes?

**awrome85** – you do know that Cobb can read everything on here, right?

**rocknrolla82** – o.O?

**yusuf2010** – come again?

**awrome69** – yeah, he mentioned some chat history to me…

**rocknrolla82** – oh… wait, what?

**moneyman69** – Oh, isn't that when you can bring up everything that has been put in a conversation and read it?

**rocknrolla82** – you can do that?

**yusuf2010** – apparently…

**rocknrolla82** – nah… of course you can't…

**awrome85** – really?

**rocknrolla82** – I'm sure he's just messing with you

**awrome85** – why me?

**rocknrolla82** – do we really need to answer that?

**awrome85** – …

**rocknrolla82** – :)

_ari89 has signed in._

**yusuf2010** – oh look who else is back!

**ari89** – hey where did you guys go? and WHY the hell didn't you let on the Cobb was there?

**moneyman69** – Sorry, Ariadne…

**ari89** – oh well… so what did I miss?

**yusuf2010** – oh nothing really…

**rocknrolla82** – oh Yusuf I gotta bring you that stuff… remember?

**yusuf2010** – stuff… OH! yeah, sorry… I forgot! sure see you in a sec

_yusuf2010 has signed out._

**rocknrolla82** – I shall bid you, farewell my darlings :) try not to miss me too much!

**awrome85** – oh don't worry… we won't

**rocknrolla82** – oh Arthur! please remove your dagger from my back!

**ari89** – haha

**rocknrolla82** – much love :) Eames out

_rocknrolla82 has signed out._

**moneyman69** – Well… I'd better get back to work… I don't want Cobb to get angry at me! Talk to you later.

**awrome85** – uh, bye Saito

**ari89** – see ya

_moneyman69 has signed out._

**awrome85** – so….

**ari89** – yeah…

**awrome85** – how's the, uh, designs coming?

**ari89** – oh they're good thanks :)

**awrome85** – that's, that's good

**ari89** – yeah…

**awrome85** – uh, Ariadne?

**ari89** – yes Arthur?

**awrome85** – I was just wondering if I could ask you a quick question…

**ari89** – fire away :)

_cobb77 has signed in._

**awrome85** – oh… never mind, hi Cobb…

**cobb77** – hello Arthur… and hello Ariadne

**ari89** – hi Cobb…

**cobb77** – I thought you had work to do…

**ari89** – oh I do… I just came on here to ask a question… all solved now… so I'm gonna… go… like right now… bye :)

_ari89 has signed out._

**awrome85** – ok well I'm going to take that as my cue to leave… bye Cobb

**cobb77** – bye Arthur

_awrome85 has signed out. _

**cobb77** – well this is getting interesting…

_cobb77 has signed out._

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_Alrighty, there it is… I really hope it was as good as you hoped. As I wasn't initially planning a second chapter, I kind of had to play it by ear…_

_Remember, as I say – reviews are love!_

_Much love xo _


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